How do muscles grow?

September 2025

"Muscles grow under pressure — shouldn’t my mental strength work the same way?"

That’s what a new client told me recently.
He’s successful, driven, and incredibly disciplined.
He works with a trainer. Hits the gym almost every day.
To him, exercise is how he manages stress — the sweat, the reps, the structure — it's his way of staying in control.

But beneath all that strength and structure... he was burnt out.
Physically tense.
Mentally drained.
Emotionally numb.

So when he said, “Pressure builds muscles. Shouldn’t my mental strength work the same way?”

I paused. And said:
“You're right that pressure plays a role.
But the deeper truth is — muscles don’t grow from pressure. They grow during recovery.
Stress breaks down the tissue.
It’s rest, nutrition, and integration that build it back stronger.
And your mind, just like your body, works the same way.”

He went quiet.
And I could feel something land.

Many high performers live like this —
High output. Low restoration.
Using productivity or performance to stay ahead of the crash they can feel coming.

But pressure alone doesn’t build resilience.
Recovery does.
Integration does.
Presence does.

In the nervous system, this is called the parasympathetic state —
- Where your best ideas come from.
- Where true leadership emerges.
- Where growth becomes sustainable.

So I gave him a different kind of rep to try:
- Pause. Breathe. Drop your shoulders.
- Notice how much you’re holding.
- And gently remind yourself: “Letting go is how I grow.”

If you’ve been operating like strength means pushing through everything...
Maybe it’s time to redefine strength: not as tension, but as the willingness to recover.

You don’t need to break down to rise.